Review: Unidentified Funny Objects 7

Unidentified Funny Objects 7 by Alex Shvartsman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Full disclaimer, I have a story in this book, but I don't know any of the other authors beyond a passing acquaintance and am trying to be as un-biased as is possible.
Individual reviews of the stories is easier for me than trying to review the book as a whole, though I do have to say I would have loved more diversity in the characters. Not a ton of queer, disabled, or people of color.

THE DRAGON, THE DRUDGE, AND THE DRONE by Esther Friesner
Cute and fun. Not the funniest piece in the book but very nice.

CHAD VERSUS THE REBEL ALLIANCE by Shane Halbach
What if you took Star Wars and replaced the clone army with Jason from The Good Place? HILARITY, THAT'S WHAT.

THE SECRET DESTINY OF HEROES by Matthew Bailey
Stopped reading after the phrase "crippled horror." My body is not a horror, and I'm sure the author didn't mean it in an ableist way, but I don't make myself read something that makes me unwelcome.

OLD SCHOOL: AN ORAL HISTORY OF CAPTAIN DICK CHASE by Val Nolan
I'm sure I missed a ton of nerd references but the ones I caught were amazing. Nice to see a story call out ableist slurs, too.

TAKE MEME TO YOUR LEADER by Jennifer Lee Rossman
Not going to review my story but I used some swear words in it, so that was fun.

CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATIONS by C. Flynt
Legal procedural! I need this story to be a sitcom.

BIMBLE BIMBLE BOP BOP! by Richard Anderson
I can't even explain this one but it's hilarious.

THE SIT DOWN by Laura Resnick
Aliens crash on Earth, and it's up to two mobsters to stop a war. And it's amazing. I've known people like this, and the voice is superb.

THE EBONY EGG by David Vierling
I'm not a huge fan of noir mysteries so my interest wandered a bit, but it's properly amusing.

THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN by Greg Sisco
It's funny, yes, but this story's strength is not its humor. It's the Twilight Zonian way it plays with the us vs. them mob mentality. I think there's a tendency to play down a humorous story as just being silly fun, nothing of substance. Well. Here be substance.

FALLING’S FREE, GRAVITY COSTS by Seanan McGuire
You know I love a space carnival, especially one with a genetically engineered leader.

MISSION LOG NUPTIALS by Langley Hyde
At first, the "I'm going to woo and marry this girl within the week" gave me a creepster vibe, but it's quickly explained that the love interest's species can fall in love but do not date, so it's less about convincing her to love you and more about convincing her you're worthy of lifelong commitment. And it's so sweet.

QUICK CASH IN THE OLD KINGDOM by Elin Korund
I didn't find this one particularly hilarious, but it was just a really enjoyable story.

KEY FANG AND KLAW by Fred Stesney
There's a giant robot... and its name... is Kevin. Need I say more?

THE VAMPIRE’S APPRENTICE by Gini Koch
I adored this one. Poor boy is so oblivious that his boss is Dracula.

THE ASSASSINATION OF 2063 by David Vaughan
Amazing. Full of little historical references and just ridiculous enough to be silly, but not too silly. And that twist.

DETHRONING THE CHAMPEEN by Mike Resnick
I didn't read this one. The main character irritated me and the humor struck me as "aren't these foreigners so wacky and backwards?" Maybe it got better but it was a really long story and I didn't feel like sticking it out.

SPEAR CARRIERS’ UNION #109 by Jamie Gilman Kress
I giggled all through this meta take on high school chosen one adventures.

THE FERMI LONELINESS PROBLEM by Beth Goder
Almost felt Douglas Adams-esque.

THREE WAYS TO LEAVE HAWAII by Zach Shephard
I didn't find this one hilarious (maybe the slapsticky bits would work better in a visual medium?) but a fun adventure.


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