I swear I don't actually hate this book. xD
There's a good story in here about love and destiny and trusting yourself... It's just hidden under so much awfulness that resulted from me having no idea what story I was trying to tell.
And it's just so much fun to mock myself.
"Justice Morgan, formerly known as [where do justices come from?]" I literally don't even know what you were trying to say or why it confused you so.
HEY LOOK! Romance and a metaphor and neither are incredibly stupid!
Most people do not grin with their hands.
Note to self: Find a better name for "thingy."
Also note to self: Saying "note to self" in your personal notes is redundant.
I might know why I used all the Walking Dead names! It might have been a "look at the flowers" reference! (In my book, looking at a specific flower led to someone's death and basically the entire plot.)
Is there Winnie the Pooh in the future?
Summary of this scene: "Why are you bleeding so much?" "There was a cute girl so I tried to be a ninja."
""Careful, broken glass is sharp!" I yell to Phyllis because I'm helpful like that." Oh my god this girl is a dork.
Are there sardines in the future?
Siren song of an ambulance. I see what you did there.
Is there tennis in the fut--NO. THERE IS ONLY FLARPBALL.
"I don't know how to stop someone from blackmailing someone." That's unfortunate because neither do I and it's the whole point of the plot.
In which flarpball is actually an important plot point.
Zippy could be Mitchell.
SERIOUSLY. You have a perfectly good Mitchell and you're wasting page time on this Mike-from-Breaking-Bad named Bob?
Sasha update: One of the Sashas is now named Tara. I have no clue which one.
STOP POINTING OUT MY PLOT HOLES, DIANE.
Yes, folks. This is the second Chapter 11 because I was too lazy to scroll up and check. I do not expect this to go well from here on.
I love that the characters have no plan because clearly neither did you.
Oh, I remember this. It's very stupid.
Wait, it's worse than I thought. It's Colonial Williamsburg but with more Furbys. WHY!?
I don't think composure is a type of shirt.
Yeeeah. Explain this way earlier. Like in that dinosaur sex ed class she didn't go to. (I really love this note for some reason.)
Bad guys are coming to kill you. But YES. Now is the perfect time to complain that you were taller in a past life.
Stealthy locales? STEALTHY. LOCALES. The term you're looking for is "hiding places."