Friday, July 14, 2017

Update and Notes!

So, the episode of Cast of Wonders that includes my story is being delayed a few days and should air sometime "mid next week."


I'm working on a feminist robot story that I'm going to submit to Mother of Invention, a feminist robot anthology, and I made a Pinterest board for inspiration. Robot ladies and pretty lipstick!


And I've been editing Blue Incarnations and I have notes. Some were from previous drafts, some are from the rewrite.

They... pump clouds into the sky? Why?

Lots of talk about roses for a book where the main symbolic thing is carnations.

That family's name changed a paragraph later. That is some seriously quick witness protection stuff.

And they're back to their original name again.

Why were they making fake eggs if they have real eggs, other than for your dumb metaphor?

Governmental concrete-ification? I don't have a clue what you're trying to describe here.

The sound of someone talking. Or, ya know. A voice.

Diana: "Oh my god I have past life memories and this is all so overwhelming!" *2 minutes later* "Hey, dude I used to know. Why yes, I would like a chocolate malt. Look at how extremely casual I am being."


Gotta love a sentence that ends abruptly with the word "and." No idea what was supposed to go next.

What did happen last time?

Oh, right. The murder-suicide.

Wait I'm super confused. They wiped their brains and then killed themselves but they didn't remember that's what they were doing because they wiped their brains. Oookay.

[Other kids in Diane's class, answering the question of what they want to be when they grow up:] Fireman! Astronaut! Exotic pet store clerk! [Diane doing the same:] *dramatic emo sigh* I just want to live long enough to grow up.

Wait, is it murder? (And of course this note has no context.)

Knees are not the same as feet.

I hate to say floating buildings are unnecessary, but I highly suspect you had no idea what to write and just went "Hey what about floating buildings?"

"No sign of a single sign of people." This is not grammar.

Yeah you know where it says "[proof]"? That means you need to put words there.

Callback from earlier but the words are different because plot!


I've never read a dystopian YA with a character so casual about overthrowing the entire government.

Oh no. I have characters named Diana and Deanna and I didn't realize for months.

Hey, when this thing is a major blockbuster movie, remember to talk to the folks at Carnation Instant Breakfast about doing some product tie-ins.

No comments:

Post a Comment