Editing Notes

As expected,, the first chapters of Blue Reincarnations, my young adult reincarnation thriller, are a hilarious mess.
　
　

• Starting with an infodump, I see.
• An infodump in which you show, within the first five words, that you have absolutely no idea what's going on or when. Good job; that's a new record.
• What if instead of infodumping all the info you dump, you had Diana in a biology class that's like, "Welp, we should be teaching y'all about not getting pregnant but there are literally so few free souls compared to the amount of people having sex at any one time that you have a better chance of getting struck by a lightning shark that just won the lottery on a leap day than you do of getting pregnant. So today we're learning about DINOSAURS."
• It sounds like the lack of babies is the plot and this is going to be a thriller about getting to the IVF clinic before they close.
• Revolutionary concept: What if the characters had personalities? And you could actually remember what they looked like?
• Grandma tears are clearly not what makes flowers grow so let's turn the melodrama knob down just a few clicks here, mkay?
• Flarpball. That is what you think sports will be called in the future.
• You named the doctor... Dr. Doctor. Do you have a bad case of being unable to think of names?
• Should I be worried how casually everyone handles having memories of murdering each other?
• Plot twist: everyone dies of salmonella!
• "PARDON ME, GOOD SIR, BUT WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS MOST VEXING FRUIT?"
• Ooh. (Super helpful note, self.)
• What is that outfit? Why is she dressed like Star Trek Hillary Clinton?
• Sorry I didn't get you acquitted of murder; I was distracted by memories of dust.
• LASER JACKHAMMERS.
• Way to make a subtle parallel and then POINT IT OUT IN THE NEXT PARAGRAPH.

　
In other news, I'm learning to cross stitch. Bought supplies with my first Circuits & Slippers royalty check!
And, as is my way, I'm launching straight into making my own complicated patterns without really practicing much at all. Below is the chart I'm starting with, in case anyone else needs a parasaurolophus cross stitch pattern. (And really, who doesn't? They're the best dinosaurs.)