We Shall Be Monsters

I am proud to announce that We Shall Be Monsters, an anthology of stories inspired by Frankenstein, is now published! It features my story "Enough."

　

I first discovered Frankenstein the way I discovered all classic literature: Through the PBS show Wishbone.

In the years since, I've fallen in love with the story of Mary Shelley and all the supporting characters in her life (especially Lord Byron, insufferable as he may have been). To be part of an anthology celebrating her work two hundred years after she wrote it is very exciting for me.

　

Enough is one of my most personal stories. It's about Dr. Frankenstein's second monster, Eve, trying to navigate the world and find her purpose, but it's also very much about disability.
I wrote in more detail about the incident that inspired the story here: https://jenniferleerossman.blogspot.com/2017/10/enough.html but since discovering that I am autistic, this story is even more "my" story to tell. Nonautistic and abled people tend to make themselves the heroes of our stories, making us everything from the villain to the tragic backstory.


I purposely don't use the doctor's name at all. It is not about him.

　

Enough is also about my abusive father. He loved me and I loved him and on the surface we seemed fine, but when we were alone, he was not a good person.

And he was abusive, no matter what anyone says. He was manipulative and cruel and gaslit me into believing he wasn't. Eve's realization about the doctor comes faster than mine did, but it's almost exactly how I felt.

I haven't spoken to my father in over ten years. I don't know if he's read my work. I don't particularly care either way. But if he reads one thing I write, I hope it's Enough, and I hope he sees himself in the doctor.
We Shall Be Monsters is available here.

Two Scary Stories

I've got stories in two anthologies that just came out (technically three, but I want to save one for its own post later in the week). I don't know about the rest of the stories, but mine are both scary and fun.

　
The first is Neon Druid, an anthology of fantasy based on Celtic mythology. My story is a scary tale about the Welsh tradition of Mari Lwyd (https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/mari-lwyd-wales-horse-skull-holidays), a ghostly horse skull that visits your house and demands you participate in a singing battle. In my story, it also eats people. It's like A Quiet Place, but... festive.

https://www.amazon.com/Neon-Druid-Anthology-Celtic-Fantasy/dp/1791884172/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

　

The second book is Cloaked Press's Fall Into Fantasy 2018, and my story is Harvest. I can't say much without spoiling, but I've been describing it as a scary version of the movie Groundhog Day.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07M6346DP/

Two Publications!

Happy Honda Days, everyone! (Not a typo; I was raised by a used car salesman. He didn't sell Hondas, but Subaru doesn't have a fun holiday pun sales event. But I digress.)

I've got two books to talk about today!

　

The first is Multiverse: Shoreline of Infinity's International Sci-fi Poetry Anthology. It features my short poem "Nesting," about what happens when you marry an alien who has an... interesting way of showing his love.
https://www.shorelineofinfinity.com/product/multiverse-an-international-anthology-of-science-fiction-poetry/

(Prices are in British pounds; I do not know the conversion rate.)

　

The second is Rhonda Parrish's Giftmas 2018 Advent Anthology, featuring my story Spider!

http://www.rhondaparrish.com/our-gift-to-you/

It's free to download until the end of the year, or you can buy a paperback copy and support the Edmonton food bank. It's very good. My friend Lizz is in it too!

This book will only be for sale for the next six months, so be sure to get one while you can!

　

Okay, I lied. I'm talking about three books. I'm pleased to announce that Jack Jetstark's Intergalactic FreakShow is selling well, and I recently had a guest post about it on Cat Rambo's blog.

I go into it more on Cat's blog, but the gist of it is this: While I was doing the final edits for Freakshow, I found out that I'm autistic. My life -- and parts of my book -- make so much more sense now, and I've discovered that the online autistic community is where "my people" live.

 http://www.kittywumpus.net/blog/2018/12/16/guest-post-jack-jetstarks-intergalactic-freakshow/

Giftmas 2018

Every December, Rhonda Parrish holds a fundraiser for Edmonton Food Bank. https://www.canadahelps.org/en/pages/2018-giftmas-blog-tour-to-support-the-edmonton-foo/ It's called Giftmas, and every dollar raised can provide three meals for hungry people. Canadian donors can get a tac receipt, and through the *power of exchange rates* every American dollar feeds, like, 25% more or something? I don't know math.

 

There's also a free raffle where you can win FABULOUS PRIZES. There miiiight be a signed copy of Jack Jetstark's Intergalactic Freakshow in there... ;)

Every day until Christmas, authors are sharing free stories (and I think there might be a big secret surprise on the 25th). Click here to read them all and find out more about the fundraiser and raffle: http://www.rhondaparrish.com/giftmas-2018/

Yesterday, Beth Cato shared her story here: http://www.bethcato.com/giftmas2018-donate-to-the-edmonton-food-bank-read-holiday-stories/

Tomorrow is Amanda C. Davis's turn: https://amandacdavis.wordpress.com/

 

Today I'm sharing my story Spider, which was originally published in issue 5 of Unfading Daydream. It's about orphaned kids who live in a junkyard, a girl with an awesome wheelchair, and FIGHTING ROBOTS!!!!
 

 

Spider

By Jennifer Lee Rossman

The beeps cut through the hazy silence of pre-dawn. They're the long, slow beeps of a truck backing up somewhere in the distance, and that can only mean one thing.

Junk.

The instant the beeping stops, the children scurry out of our hiding places, eyes gleaming hungrily. Like rats, we pour out of concealed doors and surge up from hatches beneath the ground, eager to paw through the new offerings.

In triumph, they hold their finds aloft and call out to the others, naming their prizes in case someone wants to swap.

"Record player!"

"Video game controller!"

"A thingy!"

"Crazy straw!"

"Typewriter!"

"Another thingy!"

Treasures are traded and collected in burlap bags, "thingies" identified as the beaters to an electric mixer, and the junkyard children scatter back to their subterranean hideouts.

Only I remain aboveground, scurrying not like a rat but a spider. My chair's mechanical legs pick their way over piles of humanity's refuse, actuators and pistons firing rapidly to create seamless movement.

The other kids have taken all the good stuff, the things they can turn into toys and machines, but I always like their rejects best. The double discards, so useless not even orphans living in a junkyard wanted them.

This is where I found most of the parts to my chair, in the engines of rusted-out cars and video game controllers so old they still have cords. An office chair, reupholstered with an old skirt, with armrests and side supports made of parts of those little walkers for babies to scoot around in...

The boring, structural parts, of course. Rusty and Chevrolet commandeered all the bells and spinny toys for their security system. I don't think they needed a security system, since we junkers respect boundaries and no one from the outside has ever broken in, but it makes them feel safe, and sometimes that's all you need to turn a junkyard into a home.

Not much good stuff left today. A few springs, a chipped mug, a creepy monkey doll with soulless eyes...

A colorful piece of paper catches my eye, poking out from underneath a deflated basketball. I guide my retractable arm and pick up the paper with its pinchers - it's an advertisement for... something to do with robots. I don't know. The pictures are pretty, in any event.

I'm good with building. Taking things apart and putting them back together. Reading... not so much. You don't need to read in the junkyard; that's what the community is for. Need something built? I'm your gal. Have a few veggies and want them turned into soup? Bring them to Possum. Cut your hand on a sharp thingy even though you were being real careful? Head on down to Doctor Scrap's office, third corrugated metal hut on your left.

And if you want something read, be it a dog-eared copy of Charlotte's Web or the warning label on a toaster, you bring it to my sister Gator.

I make a hundred-and-eighty degree turn and scurry back to the organized chaos of our improvised town.

At first glance, it doesn't look like much. Just piles of junk and some old cars, but if you look close, you see it. The tattered welcome mats in front of the doors, the way the rats and seagulls congregate in one area because Rusty feeds them. You see the broken flower pots turned into stepping stones, the sheetmetal cut and twisted into pinwheels that catch the breeze as it whips down the canyons between scrap heaps.

All those little touches that make it home.

I turn down a path lined with the glittering remains of someone's shattered Christmas baubles, my eight pneumatic legs clinking like music on the glass. When I come to mine and Gator's pile, I open the refrigerator door that looks like it's been propped up all casual-like, but it's really welded to the rest of the pile, which has been carefully constructed around a hollow shell of a hut. It should be dark but our two-room house glows with strings of lights shaped like palm trees and flamingos.

Gator looks up from her book at the sound of my footsteps. At seventeen, she's two years older than me, and much taller than I'd be if I could stand. She says she got Mom's legs and I got Dad's brains, but I don't know about that. She went to school before we came here; she can read and tell time and knows the Pledge of Allegiance and everything.

She remembers what Mom and Dad looked like, and what our names were before we were Gator and Spider. Back when the system tried to split us up because no one wanted a kid who couldn't walk.

"Good haul this morning?" Gator asks.

"Maybe." With a flick of my joystick, I extend my pinchers and drop the flyer in her lap. "What does this say? It looks like it's about fighting robots. Is it about fighting robots? Are the fighting robots for sale or--"

"You know most of these words," Gator says gently. "Let's try to read it together."

She comes around to stand next to me, leaning on one of my mechanical spider legs. She moves her finger along the words, but they're in a flashy font that distorts them. It's like trying to build a curling iron out of toasters - I recognize pieces but can't see how they fit together.

"'This weekend,'" Gator reads. "'Mecha brawl in Capitol Arena. May the best giant robot win! Cash prize--" She falters, the words catching in her throat and her eyes bugging out of her head.

"Ten thousand," I say helpfully.

Numbers make more sense than letters; they're always the same. Ones are ones, twos are twos. They can become tens and twenties, but that's just another way of saying "ten ones" and "ten twos." They can't be silent or long. Seven isn't a sometimes number like Y is a sometimes vowel.

Gator nods slowly. "'Cash prize of ten thousand dollars,'" she whispers.

I can't remember ever going shopping, but I've seen enough price tags to know that's a lot of money. Like, hundreds of blenders' worth.

Just think of all the junk we could buy with that... New junk, even, that no one else has used or broke!

Gator eyes me curiously, her sharp gaze the same one I use when trying to fit parts together. She looks at my eight metal legs, my pinchers, my joystick... and then a slow grin comes over her lips.

　

***

　

"So what is a mecha?" I ask. "Is it just a fancy fighting robot?"

Chevrolet makes an uncertain gesture with her hand and looks at her brother, Rusty, for confirmation.

"Kind of," he says, and the two of them walk around me again, scrutinizing. "They're big in Japan."

"They're big everywhere," Chevy points out, extending a tape measure over my head and frowning at the results. "Big big."

"Real big big," Rusty agrees. "Fifty feet tall, with lasers and hammers and bitey mouthparts."

"And they stomp around like Godzilla."

"And breathe fire."

I'm pretty sure they're exaggerating at this point, but their grubby little faces look so serious that I'm starting to doubt this plan.

"So... can we turn my spider chair into a fighting mecha?"

They confer with each other, rubbing their chins like two pint-sized, redheaded professors.

"No," they say in unison.

"Not possible," Rusty elaborates. "You're too small."

His sister grins wickedly. "But let's try it anyway."

I let out a whoop of excitement and hurry after them as they head off into the wild outskirts of the junkyard, where we start plucking pieces for my new parts.

Rusty holds up a power drill. "We could replace your hex wrench with this!"

"But I like my little wrench."

"What are you gonna buy when you win?" Chevy asks, picking up a dryer door and brandishing it like a shield.

I shrug and climb up a scrap heap. My legs slip and grapple for purchase, but my gyroscopic seat keeps me upright until I'm at the very top. From here I can see the whole patchwork quilt that is our dump - the bright colors of the car lot, the black piles where we stack the tires... all lit up in the gold of a late afternoon sun.

The kids - my adopted brothers and sisters and non-binary siblings - run and play and work out there. Simple lives born of some tragedy or another, people who were once broken but made whole again with rivets and screws and scrap metal.

You can't do anything here without other people. I've fixed them up just as often as they've fixed me.

"I don't know," I say. "Maybe I'll just split it with everyone."

　

***

　

I can't remember the last time I saw so many adults.

The arena buzzes with sound and movement, its seats packed with more people than I thought existed in the entire world. Even from backstage, peering out from behind a door like the kind that Gator says used to unleash lions on gladiators, I can see thousands upon thousands of enthusiastic fans.

"You got this," Gator says, seeing the anxiety on my face.

"I know."

She glances at a lady with a pointy face, almost like she's afraid. But nothing scares Gator, not rats or snakes or big dogs. Nothing.

I start to ask her about it, but an announcement crackles over a loudspeaker hidden somewhere in the ceiling.


Five minutes until first match - Flamezilla and The Spider, please be ready in five minutes.
Wait. I'm in the first match? I don't even get to watch anyone else first?

I feel my neck tighten and grow hot. A quick glance in a mirror confirms that my chest is red as a candy apple Cadillac.

Hang on. I look at the mirror again.

Huh.

I haven't actually seen myself since the upgrades. I look good.

My chair is suspended from eight massive legs, the knees of which reach even higher than Gator's head, and we've replaced my pincher arm with a giant pair of mandibles that I can control with a big button on my joystick. A dome made of windshields covers my entire body, gleaming like the shiny body of a spider. Rusty painted a red hourglass on my back - he says that makes me extra dangerous.

The grand doors are opened into the arena.

This is it.

Chevy polishes one of my new legs, and Possum reaches under my dome to give me a bite of granola bar from her fanny pack. I wonder if the other competitors have such amazing pit crews.

I wipe my sweaty hands on my skirt and follow a stagehand out into the brightest, loudest place I've ever been. For a second I think my earpiece is staticy, but it's just the crowd.

My opponent steps out of another doorway while I'm still dazed by the crowd, and my heart jumps at the sight of it.

It must be ten feet tall, a bipedal dinosaur made of sleek metal with flames painted up its flanks.

I have never felt so small.

There must be a person inside it somewhere, but I don't see any viewpoints or eyeholes. I wish I knew where the pilot is; the rules say we're disqualified if we seriously injure the other person. Probably in the belly. I'll aim away from there.

A horn blares seemingly from all directions. Flamezilla stomps awkwardly towards me, its legs moving in stiff jerks and its tail sticking straight out behind it. Doesn't look too sturdy.

I scuttle out of the way, wondering what on Earth I can do to fight this massive thing. All those nights spent building my new chair, adding hammers and electromagnets... I never considered that it would be so big.

It could just about step on me and squish me like... well, like a spider.

We feint at each other a couple times, getting a feel for our abilities. Flamezilla is faster than it looks, but I think it's topheavy.

Smoke curls up from its mouth.

Wait. Can it actually breathe fire?

No time to waste, I quickly estimate its mass and center of gravity. If it lowered its tail and formed a tripod with its legs, it would be pretty sturdy, but if I go at it from behind...

Flamezilla bends down and opens its jaws.

I duck under its little front arms, my seat so low to the ground that my toes leave paths in the dirt. Planting my rear legs, I push on a joystick with all my strength and my front legs flip up and hook around the dinosaur's tail.

It only takes a bit of force and its center of balance is tipped. I can hear the metal creaking as the operator struggles to right itself, but it's no use. Flamezilla falls, its face hitting the ground and sending up a cloud of dust as the stands erupt in screams and applause.

My intercom crackles and Gator's voice whoops in my ear.

"Two more rounds, sis," she says. "Just two rounds, and we can afford to rent an apartment."

Wait. What?

Does she want to move out of the junkyard?

I look out at the stands, at my family and friends in the front row. Possum and Rusty and Chevy and all them. Their grubby little grinning faces and hair done up in braids secured with twisty ties. Their waving hands that helped me build my spider when I was just a little stranger sitting slumped in an office chair.

The junkyard is our life. It's literally the only home I can ever remember having. And she wants to leave it all behind to... what? Go to school and wear matching shoes and take bubble baths?

"Gator," I say, but there's no time for this conversation as a big crane extends from the ceiling and picks up Flamezilla like it's a toy and carries it away.

Another door opens with an ominous clank on the other side of the arena.

　

***

　

Rusty and Chevy were right - mechs are huge.

My next opponent stands silhouetted in a haze of dust, a hulking behemoth that makes Flamezilla look like a tiny gecko.

It's shaped like the hybrid child of a snake and a rhinoceros, a fifty-foot-long, metal-plated serpent with a dozen sets of wheels and a nasty, razor-edged horn glinting at the tip of its head.

There's none of the back and forth with this one, a mecha the announcer calls "The Agro-Corn." It just charges forward, dust spraying up as its wheels leave deep tracks, and lowers its horn.

Before I know what's hit me, I'm upside down and airborne.

It'd be fun if it wasn't so terrifying.

Equations flash before my eyes. My velocity, trajectory, distance to the ground... and I fling my hands at the joysticks, setting my legs at the precise angle to catch myself.

I hit a little harder than I expected, but my legs bend and absorb some of the impact. I scurry out of the way, trying to find a weak point in the beast's overlapping armor as it barrels after me.

But do I even want to beat it? If I lose, we can go home to the junkyard and nothing will change.

I catch a glimpse of Gator in the stands. Worry lines her face, and she keeps glancing at the pointy woman. I feel like I've seen her before. Who is she?

Something's going on and I don't like not knowing what it is, but I do know I don't want to live anywhere but our home.

So I let the Agro-Corn hit me again.

I hear the snap of metal as one of my legs breaks off and goes cartwheeling through the air, and my opponent slithers away, expecting a retaliation. I let my hands drop from the controls.

The crowd gasps collectively in confusion and I hear the announcer speculating about my strategy. But I don't have one. I'm just waiting for the Agro-Corn to knock me over so I can go home.

I even lift a few more legs to make myself easier to tip, but they think I'm up to something. The Agro-Corn coils up in the corner, rolling its wheels over its plated body so it rises like a skyscraper, its massive head sitting defensively on top like a gargoyle.

The arena buzzes with equal parts confusion and anticipation.

When it becomes clear I'm not going to budge, the Agro-Corn makes its move. Its head lunges from the top of its coil. I see it as if in slow motion, how the armor plates move against one another, and I realize it won't work a second before it happens.

It's too stiff; it can't uncoil fast enough. The head keeps trying to go but the body seizes up, and the momentum sends the whole pile crashing down just inches in front of me.

The crowd doesn't so much erupt into cheers as slowly boils over, with a smattering of confused applause turning to raucous celebration as they declare me the de facto winner and lift the Agro-Corn out of the stadium.

"What was that?" Gator hisses in my ear. "You didn't even try."

I know she doesn't mean it as an accusation, but it still hurts because it's true.

"Why do you want to move out of our home?"

There's a pause. "What are you talking about, Spider?"

"You said--" My throat tightens and I have to take a deep breath to steady myself. "You said you wanted to get an apartment."

She doesn't say anything for a long moment, and I see her glance at the woman with the pointy face before she answers. "I don't want to move out, Spider. Never."

"But you said--"

"I said we can afford an apartment -- I never said we were going to live there." She nods subtly towards the woman. "She's the lady who wanted to split us up."

She's... what?

My memories of that night are blurry. Just shapes and sounds. Gator holding me, adults talking about us but never to us, and then running through the rainy night until Rotter found us and brought us to the junkyard.

"The tournament made us register you under your real name," Gator says. "She must have had an alert out for it."

The big doors groan again as they open for my final opponent, but I can't focus on that now.

"I don't understand. Why do we need an apartment?"

"Because I can't be your legal guardian if we don't have a permanent place of residency."

Oh.

It hits me square in the chest and leaves me out of breath.

The lady doesn't want us living in the junkyard. If we lose, if I lose, she'll take us away. Gator and me will be separated, and I'll go to some institution for disabled kids run by the state. We'll never see each other again.

I have to win. Have to.

I turn and look at my final opponent.

Oh no.

　

***

　

The final opponent standing in my way of a happy life in the junkyard is not a fearsome beast.

It does not breath fire, nor does it have a giant horn. It can't fly, has no claws, and I don't see any whirling chainsaws.

It's a pyramid.

The perfect, most elegant three-dimensional shape in existence. Wide, sturdy base, impossible to tip over. Made of shiny steel triangles, which any engineer will tell you is the strongest shape.

It rolls into the arena on a low chassis, leaving no space between it and the ground for me to gain leverage and flip it. To make things worse, a wide plate extends from the front of it, a thin sheet of metal on a pivoting arm.

It's a Spider spatula.

That's it. I'm going to lose. I'm going to lose and me and Gator are going to be the next in a long line of kids who grow up and leave the junkyard. They're going to call me some weird name like Charlotte or Sally.

The spatula slides under my feet. Think, Spider, think...

As I get lifted from the ground, I pull my arms and legs towards me in preparation of rolling. I don't know if I can get up if I'm upside down, but if I can keep my momentum going--

My little hex wrench glints in the stadium lights, my only useful tool I have left. I look at the Pyramid's extended arm and my heart does a jig. It's put together with hex screws!

As the spatula starts to tip me, I hook one of my legs around its arm. It takes a careful mix of precise mathematics and wild button mashing, but I swing around until I'm hanging from one leg while I scramble to unscrew the spatula.

It tumbles to the ground, which is... much farther away than I thought it was. The crowd cheers, but the Pyramid isn't impressed. It spins, raising and lowering its arm in an attempt to fling me off.

Whee! We need to build one of these for the junkyard.

Like the spider I am, I scurry up the arm. Up close, I can see the Pyramid is made up of dozens of teeny metal plates, each attached with a six-sided screw, and I use them for traction as I climb to the top.

The stadium spins around me, a whirlwind of color and sound and cheering strangers. My family is out there, among the blurs of the crowd. My family, and the pointy lady who wants to tear us apart. I hope she's watching.

I find the screw at the very top of the Pyramid, and I turn it.

We stop spinning, as if the driver has just realized what I'm doing.

One last twist, and it all comes loose. The sides of the Pyramid crash to the ground, leaving just a metal framework for me to cling to as the driver looks up in shock.

I think the announcer says I'm the winner, but I can't hear over the roar of the crowd chanting my name.

My name. Spider. The name they call me back home among the piles of glorious junk.

THE END

Super Gay Anthology Publication!

Do-Overs, my bisexual time traveler romance, was originally published online by Jaylee James' Spectrum Lit (free to read here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/do-overs-by-lee-12473810), then on a podcast by GlitterShip (http://www.glittership.com/2018/03/09/episode-52-three-very-short-reprints/). And now it has been published in book form along with all the other stories GlitterShip produced this year!


　

Every story is sci-fi or fantasy, and features queer characters. I think all of the authors are queer, too? Not sure. I'm eagerly awaiting my copy.

　
https://www.amazon.com/GlitterShip-Year-Keffy-R-M-Kehrli/dp/1974227677



My story features real life gorgeous genius from the 1800s (and one of my own historical crushes) Ada Lovelace. Jaylee made these graphics with images of her and I just love them so much.

　

Also exciting: tomorrow, I'm posting a free short story on my blog as part of Rhonda Parrish's Giftmas event. It's about disability, kids who live in a junkyard, and FIGHTING ROBOTS.

Go here to learn more about the food bank we're raising money for, and enter a giveaway to win FABULOUS PRIZES! http://www.rhondaparrish.com/giftmas-2018/

Mari Lwyd

I have a few more updates to do over the next few days, but here's a quick announcement:

My story "Mari Lwyd" is going to be in Neon Druid: An Anthology of Urban Celtic Fantasy!

What's Mari Lwyd, you ask? Only the creepiest and most awesome Christmas tradition ever!
Here's a great article about it https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/mari-lwyd-wales-horse-skull-holidays, but the gist of it is this: it's a Welsh tradition where a horse skull visits your house and sings at you, and you have to sing better than it, then everyone has a snack and you go on to your neighbor's.


Yes, really.

In my story, it's a little more sinister... Three grown children come home for their first Christmas since their parents died, expecting to inherit the "role" of the terrifying Mari Lwyd just as they became Santa Claus. Because it was always just a game, right?

　

Read more about the anthology here!
https://mtmisery.com/2018/12/13/welcome-to-neon-druid/

I'm Autistic

I've talked about this on Twitter a lot, not sure if I've mentioned it here or not, but I've recently found out I'm autistic.

I'm not officially diagnosed because there are a lot of systemic barriers to adults getting diagnosed (the nearest accessible facility with someone who takes my insurance is over an hour away and it would be several appointments) but my therapist is confident enough to say the label is mine if I want to claim it. And I do.

I think it explains a lot of my behavior as a child, and why I have so much trouble connecting with people. It's not me being difficult on purpose or not trying hard enough, like some people have accused all through my life. My brain is just not wired the way people expect it to be.

I debated whether to put it in my bio because I know there will be people who won't like it being there. There will be people who insist I am just being difficult, and people who will treat me differently because of it. On the other side, there will probably be people who will tell me that they support Autism Speaks and will argue with me when I try to tell them that most autistic people consider that organization to be a hate group (I don't want to go into it now, but if you do a search for "Autism Speaks doesn't speak for me" you'll get the autistic view).

Some of these people might be friends and family, and it's scary that I might not know the real them until I show them the real me. And that it could cause tension between myself and people who I thought cared about me.

But I don't want that kind of people in my life, so I put it in my bio because I'm not going to hide who I am to make them comfortable.

Blog Tour!

On December 19, I'll be sharing a free story as part of Rhonda Parrish's Giftmas event to raise money for the Edmonton Food Bank. It's got fighting robots in it! Go here to donate, see who else is sharing stories (one of them is my friend Lizz!), and enter a raffle to win, among other things, a signed copy of Jack Jetstar's Intergalactic Freakshow! http://www.rhondaparrish.com/giftmas-2018/



　

Speaking of which, I'm up to my armrests in blog tours and guest posts. Here are a few of them. More to come:

https://www.worldweaverpress.com/blog/my-three-year-journey-to-publication

Find out who I would invite to a dinner party: https://ash2stone.wordpress.com/2018/12/07/jack-jetstar-intergalactic-freakshow/

http://writingdreams.net/book-tour-jack-jetstarks-intergalactic-freak-show-by-jennifer-lee-rossman/

Jack Jetstark's Intergalactic FreakShow is Published!!!!!!

Today I am proud to announce that my novel Jack Jetstark's Intergalactic FreakShow is published!

　

In the coming days, I'll have some guest posts and interviews talking more about the book, so I'll leave this announcement short. I will say that preorder sales have been great and I'm so honored that everyone is as excited about it as I am. Huge thanks to my editor Sarena Ulibarri and everyone at World Weaver Press for taking a chance on this book.


https://www.worldweaverpress.com/store/p157/Jack_Jetstarks_Intergalactic_Freakshow.html


　

FreakShow Character Introduction: Diantha

Two quick things before we get to the main event.

Schreyer Ink, publisher of the alien anthology Children of the Sky which contains my story Artist Unknown, is going out of business.
Children of the Sky will be out of print at the end of the year, so be sure to get your copy soon!
https://www.amazon.com/Children-Sky-Schreyer-Ink-Publishing/dp/1988853257/

And more about this soon, but Rhonda Parrish is raising money for a food bank, and she also has a free raffle! I've donated a signed copy of Freakshow... http://www.rhondaparrish.com/giftmas-2018/

Now to the reason you came...

　

Every Monday, I'm introducing a character from my debut novel, Jack Jetstark's Intergalactic FreakShow, which comes out tomorrow! Today's character...

　

Diantha!

　

 

Jack's first love, Diantha has gone from a poor citizen of a moon ruled by the evil VesCorp to the leader of VesCorp itself. But is she changing their corrupt ways, or has she gone over to the other side?

　

Diantha is a freak, a descendant of people who were genetically engineered to have superhuman abilities when they hear a certain song. She is a chameleon, changing her skin to blend in with the background and render herself invisible. She also adapts her personality to fit her situation, making it hard to tell whether she's being sincere.

　

Most of my characters were inspired by lyrics from American Pie. Diantha is an amalgamation of a lot of lyrics. She's the queen, the girl who sang the blues, maybe the jester and the devil, too. But her name is Latin for "carnation," as in the "pink carnation and a pickup truck."

　

Diantha is perhaps the most important character in the book, because it's her song that triggers the abilities in the other freaks. She sings it every night through the radio so Jack knows she's safe, and when she doesn't sing it one night, he knows she's in trouble and that kicks off the plot.

　

Whether she's the villain or just the target of the true villain's assassination attempt, I won't spoil. It might even be a little bit of both, depending on who you ask.

　

In my mind, Diantha would be played by Jaime Murray, who played Helena on Warehouse 13.

　

Preorder here and add it on Goodreads!

The Good, the Bad, and the Utahraptor is Published!

Jurassic Park is my favorite movie, has been ever since I was five. Yes, I was way too young to watch it. I don't know what my parents were thinking, but other movies I loved at that age include Tremors and Jaws, so... clearly I was not a normal child.

But back to Jurassic Park. I love dinosaurs. Like, I was that annoying kid who wouldn't play with a plastic allosaurus because it had the wrong number of toes. So a movie where they eat people? Fun!

I practically wore out my VHS, I can still quote large chunks of the movie, and I think Dr. Malcolm might have been my first crush. On second thought, it might have been Princess Jasmine. My point is, I loved the movie and its sequels.

　

However, being a dino-nerd, I knew it was not without its faults, especially regarding my beloved raptors.

For one thing, real velociraptors were the size of turkeys. The big ones like in the movies are more similar to utahraptors or deinonychuses. They also had feathers, damnit.

But I gave the movies a pass because we were only just discovering feathers when the first movie was made, and while they did discover utahraptor during production (if I remember correctly), the idea of a larger raptor had already been proposed in the scientific community and they thought it would be a subspecies of velociraptor. So, fine. I accepted it.

　

Then they announced Jurassic World.

Yes! A chance to correct their mistakes!

[insert disappointed sigh here]

Look. I love these movies with all my heart, but they made three mistakes with the new movies:

1. Wrong species of dinosaur

2. No feathers

3. Chris Pratt did not ride a raptor like it was a pony

　

Yeah, okay, maybe that last one isn't a scientific inaccuracy, but it was definitely a mistake, and I have taken it upon myself to correct these errors. So, without further ado, I would like to proudly present my dinosaur western, free to read and listen to on Cast of Wonders...

　

The Good, the Bad, and the Utahraptor

(narration by Sandra Espinoza)
http://www.castofwonders.org/2018/11/cast-of-wonders-332-dinovember-the-good-the-bad-and-the-utahraptor/

FreakShow Character Introduction: Lily

Every Monday from now until December 3rd, I'm introducing a character from my debut novel, Jack Jetstark's Intergalactic FreakShow! Today's character is...

　

Lily!

　

Lily is Jack's pilot. She's bold and sexy and not afraid to show off, but this confidence doesn't always extend to the rest of her life.

　

Lily is a freak, a descendant of people who were genetically engineered to have superhuman abilities when they hear a certain song. She grows wings and performs as an angel, though she refers to herself as an owl.

　

Most of my characters were inspired by lyrics from American Pie. Lily is the "angel born in Hell." Researching this phrase led me to Lilith, the Biblical mother of demons who was sometimes associated with screech owls (the Latin name of which, "Megascops, is referenced in her full name, Lilimeg Ascops). Before American Pie fixed my plot, though, there was a character that sort of became Lily, who was a lionfish-inspired mermaid. A minor character named Holly was given that description instead.

　

At first glance, there's nothing "wrong" with Lily. She's just a sexy bird who sometimes sleeps with men she hardly knows so they'll fall in love and buy her things. But the jewelry they give her is just a bonus: she enjoys toying with them, making them fall in love so she can break their hearts. She knows it's messed up, but it's just the way she is, and she would never do it to someone she cares about.

　

In my mind, Lily would be played by Elizabeth Banks.

　

(There was, briefly, a version of Lily that ACTUALLY ate men and spit them out, which I think was a reference to how owls eat things whole and spit out pellets full of mouse bones? But I gave the violent tendencies to Merulo instead. Thank. God.)

　

(I also want to stress that, despite everything I just said about Lily, the sexual content in the book is very minimal. Nothing more than a kiss happens on the page, her using men is only alluded to, and while its clear that Jack finds her very attractive, I don't think I describe it in any more graphic detail than saying her curves make his cheeks feel warm.)

　

Preorder here and add it on Goodreads!

　

Come back next Monday to meet the final character, Diantha!

　

Cover Reveal and Black Friday Sale

We're still raising money to fund Space Opera Libretti, and we're a little worried that it's going so slow. As little as $1 gets you an anthology of silly, inclusive space opera.
But we already have cover art! Check it out here.

(And we're still open for submissions: http://spaceoperalibretti.blogspot.com/p/submission-guidelines.html)


And two great anthologies are on sale for black friday - LOVE & BUBBLES and CIRCUITS & SLIPPERS, both just $0.99 this weekend! I'm in both, and co-edited L&B. Escape your holiday stress with sci-fi fairytales or queer mermaids or both!
L&B: https://amzn.to/2JCRrHS

C&S: https://amzn.to/2RAJvK1

Freakshow Character Introduction: Ruby

Quick word from our sponsor before we start: Brian McNett and I are editing an anthology of space opera. Our goal is for it to be a diverse and inclusive collection of humorous sci-fi with a musical bent, and it's important that we pay our authors decent rates.
If you can spare the money, it would mean the world to me if you would check out our Kickstarter. As little as a dollar will get you a copy of the anthology as soon as it's ready, which we hope will be this summer.
We already have some amazing stories on our shortlist, and when we reach $900 we're going to reveal the cover art we commissioned. Thank you.



Every Monday from now until December 3rd, I'm introducing a character from my debut novel, Jack Jetstark's Intergalactic FreakShow! Today's character is...

　

Ruby!

　

When I decided to introduce a character a week and planned out the schedule, I included Ruby because she's a big part of the story. I forgot, however, that I can't tell you why she's important without spoiling things. So here's what I can say:

Ruby Marta is the ten-year-old daughter of Diantha and Garon, the leaders of VesCorp, a ruthless company/government that rules over the universe with an iron fist. It's also the corporation that altered the genes of Jack's freak ancestors.

Except... is Ruby really Garon's daughter? After all, her mother and Jack were in love before Ruby was born, and she does have Jack's ruddy complexion...

Ruby is my absolute favorite character. She's sweet and totally unafraid of the monstrous freaks. My favorite scene in the entire book is when she returns to her mother's childhood home.

　

Preorder here and add it on Goodreads!

　

Come back next Monday to meet Lily!

Eligibility Post 2018

It's awards season! Here are all of my stories and books that were published this year.


Starred titles are the ones I would like to direct your attention toward the most.
 
**Anachronism (novella)- May 30, 2018

https://www.amazon.com/Anachronism-Jennifer-Lee-Rossman/dp/1911497944/ref=sr_1_7?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1527783468&sr=1-7


Riot of the Wind and Sun - Glass and Gardens: Solarpunk Summers - June 5 2018

https://www.worldweaverpress.com/store/p147/Glass_and_Gardens%3A_Solarpunk_Summers.html

Spider - Unfading Daydream - July 3 2018
https://unfadingdaydream.wordpress.com/2018/07/03/issue-5-mecha-is-here/



Login - Brave New Girls: Tales of Heroines Who Hack - July 5 2018

https://www.amazon.com/Brave-New-Girls-Tales-Heroines/dp/1719152616/


Jesus and Dave - Diabolical Plots - July 16, 2018
http://www.diabolicalplots.com/dp-fiction-41b-jesus-and-dave-by-jennifer-lee-rossman/
  

Artist Unknown - Children of the Sky - August 1

https://www.amazon.com/Children-Sky-Schreyer-Ink-Publishing/dp/1988853257/ (out of print)

**One Last Ride on the Horse with Purple Roses - Luna Station Quarterly - September 5, 2018
http://lunastationquarterly.com/story/one-last-ride-on-the-horse-with-purple-roses/


Take Meme to Your Leader - UFO7 - September 18, 2018

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1720094888/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&psc=1&linkCode=sl1&tag=ufopubcom-20&linkId=7396a8d7ebb85917a5e806d60c09e404&language=en_US


The Dog Who Walked with Zombies - Dark Ink: A Poetry Anthology Inspired by Horror - September 21, 2018

https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Ink-Poetry-Anthology-Inspired/dp/0997483768/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1537553864&sr=1-1&keywords=9780997483765

The Cemetery Cat - From A Cat's View - October 14
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HDFV63S

The Leximancer's Rebellion - Battling in All Her Finery - October 16, 2018
https://amzn.to/2pRZcjY


The Wolf Mother - Under the Full Moon's Light - October 16, 2018


https://www.amazon.com/dp/1945654279/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1539697230&sr=8-1&keywords=9781945654275


Shallows - Love & Bubbles - October 18, 2018
https://amzn.to/2CWSd22

The Courtship Dance - The Tangled Web - October 2018
https://www.purpleturkeypress.com/thetangledweb


**Jack Jetstark's Intergalactic FreakShow (novel) - December 4

https://www.worldweaverpress.com/store/p157/Jack_Jetstarks_Intergalactic_Freakshow.html 


**The Good, the Bad, and the Utahraptor - Cast of Wonders - November 30, 2018
http://www.castofwonders.org/2018/11/cast-of-wonders-332-dinovember-the-good-the-bad-and-the-utahraptor/


Mari Lwyd - Neon Druid - December 19, 2018
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07LFNZK9W



Nesting (poem) - Multiverse: Shoreline of Infinity International Sci-fi Poetry Anthology - December 2018
https://www.shorelineofinfinity.com/product/multiverse-an-international-anthology-of-science-fiction-poetry/
 
Enough - We Shall Be Monsters - December 27, 2018

https://renaissancebookpress.com/product/we-shall-be-monsters/?fbclid=IwAR22tpB4TN02UEINQXz6xssA0GUrdSC1TKczXilEcYok5Zpp_Fb0pcQuNLQ



Harvest - Fall into Fantasy - December 28, 2018
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07M6346DP/


The Man Whose Left Arm Was a Cat (originally published in 2018 in Diabolical Plots Year Four Anthology, available free online as of 2019)

http://www.diabolicalplots.com/dp-fiction-47b-the-man-whose-left-arm-was-a-cat-by-jennifer-lee-rossman/

FreakShow Character Introduction: Rubeno Mardo

Every Monday from now until December 3rd, I'm introducing a character from my debut novel, Jack Jetstark's Intergalactic FreakShow! Today's character is...

　

The Rubeno Mardo!

　

The Rubeno is Jack's ship. Technically his father's ship, though she miiight be a little bit stolen. She's an Aldebaran Highwire cargo ship, and her cargo hold has been converted into a carnival.

　

There are three named ships in the book. The Rubeno Mardo and Mia Nubo are named after Rolling Stones songs, Ruby Tuesday and Get Off of My Cloud, translated into Esperanto. The third is the Dorno Argenta or "Silver Thorn," a lyric from Vincent by Don McLean.

　

Preorder here and add it on Goodreads!

　

Come back next Monday to meet Ruby (who may have been named after the ship)!

　

Space Opera Libretti

So you'll be hearing a lot more about this project after my novel is published, but I'm editing an anthology with Brian McNett!

It's called Space Opera Libretti, and we're open for submissions until December 31.

We're also running a Kickstarter! Backers can get an ebook or physical book, as well as some unique rewards (like the chance to read the unedited first drafts of the editors' stories)!

We're already more than ten percent of the way to our goal, and the more we earn, the more we pay our authors.

Check it out here!

FreakShow Character Introduction: Cara

Every Monday from now until December 3rd, I'm introducing a character from my debut novel, Jack Jetstark's Intergalactic FreakShow! Today's character is...

　

Cara!

　

Cara joins Jack's crew early on in the book, and quickly finds her place on the ship as a mechanic. She's a young redhead who runs away to join the carnival, and is possibly the sweetest character in the whole book.

　

Cara is a freak, a descendant of people who were genetically engineered to have superhuman abilities when they hear a certain song. She can speak to electronics, and performs in the show as a cyborg.

　

I'm afraid of spoiling some important plot points if I tell you too much of Cara's backstory, so I'll tell you about my inspiration for her instead. Most of my characters were inspired by lyrics from American Pie, but Cara is the exception. Technically, Cara is short for Carabidae, a type of beetle (Beatle), but that's where the inspiration ends because Cara predates American Pie's influence on my plot.

Before Jack was a firebreather, before the music died, back when Jack Jetstark's Intergalactic FreakShow was just called "Freak Show"... there was a little redheaded girl who ran away to join a space carnival. That's right, this book was originally Cara's story. From a certain point of view, it still is, but saying any more would be ruining a whole bunch of surprises.

　

I'm not hip to who all the newfangled young actors are nowadays, but I imagine Cara as looking like a young Karen Gillam.

　

Preorder here and add it on Goodreads!

　

Come back next Monday to meet the Rubeno Mardo (the ship totally counts as a character)!

Publication: The Courtship Dance

I'm not going to post the cover of the book because it has a spider on it and I don't want to trigger any phobias, but my story The Courtship Dance is now available in The Tangled Web anthology! https://www.purpleturkeypress.com/thetangledweb


　

So my go-to plotting method is apparently to add "in spaaaaaace" to the end of the anthology theme. Thus we have a story about spiders. IN. SPAAAAAAACE.

　

Let me tell you a little about spiders. Terrifying things that snuck out of Hell when Satan was doing spring cleaning, right? Hey, I have arachnophobia - no argument here. (I can't guarantee the content of any other story in this anthology, but mine is sweet and the spider is not scary at all.)

But did you know they can dance?

　
Enter the peacock spiders, teeny little colorful dudes that shake their iridescent groove thangs to attract a mate. (Link shows photos and video of spiders up close but they are freaking adorable and fuzzy wuzzy and don't trigger anxiety from me.) https://www.livescience.com/39052-peacock-spider-mating-dance.html


　
And did you know spiders have been to space? (Link shows photos of spiders -- some are not close-ups, and the ones that are show spiders preserved in jars. No extreme close-ups of anything meant to look scary, but I know that doesn't always matter if your phobia is severe.) https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/objects-of-intrigue-the-spiders-who-spun-in-space


　

So naturally I had to combine these fun facts into a story about dancing, romance, and Newtonian physics. The spiders play a very small part in the actual story, but have a big impact on the plot.

　

Judith lives in a spaceship, and like all of my romantic leads, she's dorky and awkward and doesn't know how to tell the pretty boy with the glittery prosthetic arm that she fancies him. So naturally, she turns to her spider friend Anita for advice on choreographing a courtship dance.

　

When I submitted this story, the editors asked me to add more 80s references, specifically Dirty Dancing. Now, I'd never seen Dirty Dancing. It never felt like my kind of thing. It's a girly, not sci-fi movie. But I have seen it and let me tell you, I LOVED IT. Like, I knew how it ended but I got so into it that I was like "BUT DO THEY DO THE LIFT?????"

FreakShow Character Introduction: Pneuman

Every Monday from now until December 3rd, I'm introducing a character from my debut novel, Jack Jetstark's Intergalactic FreakShow! Today's character is...

　

Pneuman!

　

Along with his identical twin, Theon, Pneuman handles communication for the ship. He's the sweetest person, and usually wears an old souvenir t-shirt advertising the freakshow.

　

Pneuman is a freak, a descendant of people who were genetically engineered to have superhuman abilities when they hear a certain song. He can sense emotions and uses this to perform as psychic, conjoined triplets with Parthen and Theon.

　

Most of their backstory was explained in a scene that got cut, but I do mention it briefly in one surviving chapter. The three of them grew up on a planet that Pneuman and Theon's people ruled. When settlers turned it into a trading hub, their people were forcibly moved to temples they could never leave. Some people -- like Parthen -- brought them food, and were labeled unclean for doing so. Running away to join the freakshow was their only chance at a real life, and someday they're going to go back and help their people.

　

Most of my characters were inspired by lyrics from American Pie. Pneuman is the "holy ghost" in "the father, son, and the holy ghost." His name means "air" or "spirit." Like his brother, I imagine Theon looking like Michael Ealy.

　

Preorder here and add it on Goodreads!

　

Come back next Monday to meet Cara!

Review: Unidentified Funny Objects 7

Unidentified Funny Objects 7 by Alex Shvartsman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Full disclaimer, I have a story in this book, but I don't know any of the other authors beyond a passing acquaintance and am trying to be as un-biased as is possible.
Individual reviews of the stories is easier for me than trying to review the book as a whole, though I do have to say I would have loved more diversity in the characters. Not a ton of queer, disabled, or people of color.

THE DRAGON, THE DRUDGE, AND THE DRONE by Esther Friesner
Cute and fun. Not the funniest piece in the book but very nice.

CHAD VERSUS THE REBEL ALLIANCE by Shane Halbach
What if you took Star Wars and replaced the clone army with Jason from The Good Place? HILARITY, THAT'S WHAT.

THE SECRET DESTINY OF HEROES by Matthew Bailey
Stopped reading after the phrase "crippled horror." My body is not a horror, and I'm sure the author didn't mean it in an ableist way, but I don't make myself read something that makes me unwelcome.

OLD SCHOOL: AN ORAL HISTORY OF CAPTAIN DICK CHASE by Val Nolan
I'm sure I missed a ton of nerd references but the ones I caught were amazing. Nice to see a story call out ableist slurs, too.

TAKE MEME TO YOUR LEADER by Jennifer Lee Rossman
Not going to review my story but I used some swear words in it, so that was fun.

CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATIONS by C. Flynt
Legal procedural! I need this story to be a sitcom.

BIMBLE BIMBLE BOP BOP! by Richard Anderson
I can't even explain this one but it's hilarious.

THE SIT DOWN by Laura Resnick
Aliens crash on Earth, and it's up to two mobsters to stop a war. And it's amazing. I've known people like this, and the voice is superb.

THE EBONY EGG by David Vierling
I'm not a huge fan of noir mysteries so my interest wandered a bit, but it's properly amusing.

THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN by Greg Sisco
It's funny, yes, but this story's strength is not its humor. It's the Twilight Zonian way it plays with the us vs. them mob mentality. I think there's a tendency to play down a humorous story as just being silly fun, nothing of substance. Well. Here be substance.

FALLING’S FREE, GRAVITY COSTS by Seanan McGuire
You know I love a space carnival, especially one with a genetically engineered leader.

MISSION LOG NUPTIALS by Langley Hyde
At first, the "I'm going to woo and marry this girl within the week" gave me a creepster vibe, but it's quickly explained that the love interest's species can fall in love but do not date, so it's less about convincing her to love you and more about convincing her you're worthy of lifelong commitment. And it's so sweet.

QUICK CASH IN THE OLD KINGDOM by Elin Korund
I didn't find this one particularly hilarious, but it was just a really enjoyable story.

KEY FANG AND KLAW by Fred Stesney
There's a giant robot... and its name... is Kevin. Need I say more?

THE VAMPIRE’S APPRENTICE by Gini Koch
I adored this one. Poor boy is so oblivious that his boss is Dracula.

THE ASSASSINATION OF 2063 by David Vaughan
Amazing. Full of little historical references and just ridiculous enough to be silly, but not too silly. And that twist.

DETHRONING THE CHAMPEEN by Mike Resnick
I didn't read this one. The main character irritated me and the humor struck me as "aren't these foreigners so wacky and backwards?" Maybe it got better but it was a really long story and I didn't feel like sticking it out.

SPEAR CARRIERS’ UNION #109 by Jamie Gilman Kress
I giggled all through this meta take on high school chosen one adventures.

THE FERMI LONELINESS PROBLEM by Beth Goder
Almost felt Douglas Adams-esque.

THREE WAYS TO LEAVE HAWAII by Zach Shephard
I didn't find this one hilarious (maybe the slapsticky bits would work better in a visual medium?) but a fun adventure.


View all my reviews

Guest Interview with Adie Weston

Twitter. It gives us so much. Corgi pictures, jealous girlfriend memes, Hufflepuff jokes your family doesn't understand... but it also brings writers together and forms great friendships.

Adie Weston is one such friend I've made on the tweety, and today, her first book is published!

Terrific Tails: Stories From A Pet Guardian is a series of hilarious and heart-warming stories about family pets and the guardians who love them. Follow the author from her childhood pets to her current household of furry family. Laugh out loud at the filthy runaway adventures of Winston the dog. Hold your breath while you wait to find out where Hiccup the kitten was hiding all along. Discover that sometimes our pets find us, instead of us finding them. Welcome yourselves into this forever home.


You can order it on Amazon today. And profits go to the Humane Society, so everyone wins!

Adie was kind enough to answer a few interview questions with me (and my cat, Chloe).

　

You've mentioned this book being your Grandma's idea. Can you tell me more about her?

This book was, without a doubt, all my Grandma Ava’s idea. She demanded I write it for her. And though she passed away before it was finished, I continued on with the book. For Grandma. The thing about Grandma was that she never held back on her thoughts – whether that was demanding I write a book for her or demanding I point out all my cute doctors to her. Yes, you read that last part right. I grew up as a disabled child and let me tell you, doctors were my less than favorite people in the world, for obvious reasons. But Grandma, well, she’d always tell me, "You keep an eye out for a cute doctor for me!" Often she’d say this with Grandpa sitting right there next to her. He never seemed to mind. Now I was young and wasn’t the kind of child to exclaim to a doctor, "My, you’re cute!" But one day, as my mother told it, when I was about seven years old, a young good-looking doctor came into the exam room and introduced himself, offering out his hand for me to shake. I shook it, looked him in the eye and very boldly said, "My grandma wants to meet you." Apparently this was how seven-year-old me told doctors they were cute.
What's your first pet memory?

My first memory of having a pet goes all the way back to when I was about four years old. We had a big black lab named Barney. I talk a little about Barney in the first chapter of this book – where I talk about those childhood pets that were so long ago my memory can barely hold on to them. Barney was warm and friendly and protective. I was so little then - and he seemed so big to me - that sometimes I was nervous of being knocked over when he got too affectionate. But I shouldn’t have been. As my mother told it, Barney acted like a bounding puppy with my older siblings, but was always careful and tender with me, as if he was aware of my young, delicate size. What I remember more than anything about Barney is his large, warm body pressed against me as I sat on the back steps of our home on a cold fall afternoon. It’s a lovely memory, for sure.


　And Chloe would like to know: What is Hiccup's favorite toy?

Hiccup is a very playful cat, with a whole collection of store bought toys. But his favorite thing to play with? Bottle caps. He especially likes ones off of soda bottles. Drink a 16oz soda, give the lid to Hiccup. He has a collection of about ten bottle lids – and a random ink pen he seems very attached to – behind my bedroom door. We play a game we simply call ‘hockey’. I pull out about six of them and he gets behind the door and waits. I kick one under the door, sliding it between the bottom of the door and the floor. Hiccup pounces on it, scrambles around, and then pushes it back out to me on the other side. I kick another one under the door. Sometimes he slides the lid back under. Sometimes he gets distracted. But we keep playing - me kicking them under one way, him sometimes pushing them back - until I have no bottlecaps left. Throughout the game, I get him all excited by yelling things like, "On the goal, stay on the goal!" and "Watch your mark, coming at you!" When the game is done - and Hiccup is laying on his side in a pile of lids behind my bedroom door - I proclaim, "Good game, good game. Hit the showers." Hiccup will go bounding out of my room then, presumably to hit the showers.
 About the author:

Adie Weston is a 40-ish something woman who currently lives in a house in Michigan with her sister, four cats, and sometimes a dog. She wrote her very first story at age six. It was about a seal and mainly consisted of the words, "See the seal." Luckily, she has learned a few more words than that now. This is her first published book.
 
Follow Westword Books:

https://www.facebook.com/westword.books/

https://twitter.com/Westword_Books

FreakShow Character Introduction: Parthen

Every Monday from now until December 3rd, I'm introducing a character from my debut novel, Jack Jetstark's Intergalactic FreakShow! Today's character is...

　

Parthen!

　

 

Parthen coordinates the crew's schedules and plans their travel through the galaxies. She's black, has purple hair, and is friendly but shy.

　

Parthen is a freak, a descendant of people who were genetically engineered to have superhuman abilities when they hear a certain song. She can change the chemical structure of anything she touches. In the show, she uses this to meld her body with Pneuman and Theon, and they perform as psychic, conjoined triplets (though she is not related to either of them).

　

Most of my characters were inspired by lyrics from American Pie. Parthen is the "son" in "the father, son, and the holy ghost." Her name is short for parthenogenesis, or "virgin birth."

　

I imagine Parthen as looking like Susan Kelechi Watson, who plays Beth on This Is Us.

　

Preorder here and add it on Goodreads!

　

Come back next Monday to meet the third triplet, Pneuman!