IWSG: Publishing and the Insecure Brain

On the first Wednesday of every month, the Insecure Writer’s Support Group encourages writers to talk about their insecurities. So here we go.

 

So here's the thing. I've been submitting stories to publishers and anthologies since January 1 (not a New Year's resolution, just one of them ol' coinkidinks). And since then, my work has been accepted by three (an announcement about the third to come when I get the info).

This is happening way faster than I ever expected, faster than it should happen. Haven't we all read about how we're going to struggle for years and hope that someday we'll be published in some obscure journal one day?

And you'd think this would help with my confidence and adequacy issues, but I'm realizing that, even though this has absolutely validated my life and having my name on a book is literally all I've dreamed of since I was a wee little mugwamp, it isn't an instant fix. My issues are still there; they've just been forced to get creative in how they torture me.

Part of me truly believes this is all a mistake, that even though I've signed contracts and had multiple correspondences with people involved, someone or everyone is going to say "oops, we meant Jennifer Sue Rossman, not Jennifer Lee."

Another part feels guilty that it's going so well. Why me? Surely I'm taking away a chance from someone else who has been trying for longer and deserves it more?

It's going to take a lot of retraining for my set-in-its-way brain to accept that we might actually be talented. But at least I now have the most amazing "problem" I've ever had: How often can I mass email my extended family with publishing news before they get sick of hearing from me?