Notes from the Editing Room - Chapters 4 and 5

I'm pretty much incapable of taking myself seriously, which is why I think, even though I am extremely stressed by the thought of editing (and by most things), my notes for this read-through still have a sense of humor to them. It's a dark, self-depricating kind of humor that runs in my family. As my mother likes to say, "I'm laughing because it's better than crying and tearing my hair out."
　

• I keep misreading "booths" as "boobs" and it's changing the tone of my carnival. Significantly.
• This is a night scene? News to me. I totally remember it being daylight, maybe evening, with the sunset over the water and stuff.
• Oh, nope. You continued to talk about the night sky. That is bizarre.
• And suddenly it isn't nighttime underwater? I'd like to think you had a strange, rapid rotation of the planet in mind to explain this phenomenon, but I know you aren't that smart.
• If the other ship is easily leveling trees and hills, it probably wouldn't be stopped by a rock wall. That's just physics, man.
• Think I'll rewrite [its laser turrets turreting right at us].

• Jack's dad is a drunken, loudmouthed, liar? You'll definitely need to change that, or your own dad might think it's based on him.
• I forgot why you made Jack's home so swampy until I got to the word "levee." I don't care if your plot is inspired by American Pie. You can't just be going around making up whole worlds just to fit in song references!
• Oh, for god's sakes, Jennifer! You've got space rednecks (good old boys) drinking hard liquor (whiskey and rye), joking that the sun is going to explode (this'll be the day that I die)! Keep this up and Don McClean is going to sue you for copyright infringement.
• Oh, Jack. Poor, innocent little Jack full of hope and love. Chapter 8 is going to destroy you so bad. I will try not to laugh too much.
• Jack's brain when presented with any pretty girl, apparently: "I'm going to condescendingly explain the concept of stars to this person who has lived in space her entire life!"
• All girls when he does this: "Stars are so magical!" *heart eyes*